to do

I should read more. I feel lost in a sea of words that I don't understand sometimes. I think I used to be smart.. up to date on all the art jargon. Now I am at a stand still. I know what I know.. but I don't as much as I used to know, and I don't know what is going on right this very second. Maybe the world is too big for me, or maybe I let myself fall behind in the past few years... I've forgotten that I can't just be a good painter.. I also have to be a good bullshitter. I need to relearn. Damn.

happy

things that would make me a happier person:

1. getting over josh
2. cheaper rent
3. non-latvian roommates
4. having an income
5. going home whenever I wanted
6. free laundry
7. free art supplies
8. free school
9. no school loans
10. obabma as president
11. a boyfriend
12. coffee, now
13. weed, now
14. getting my dog back
15. having my car here, and magically fixed
16. a dresser
17. some furniture in our downstairs living room
18. someone doing my grad apps for me
19. someone paying my grad app fees for me
20. my nieces closer
21. free cigarettes

today

congratulations is a great word to hear

also when someone tells you that the things you are pouring yourself into are actually exciting

all the fears I had about being too vague, or non-conventional were wrong

someone even called me a rockstar... and that my work is edgy.... me? really? I don't know if I agree about the edgy part... maybe in this town with it's Puritan inspired values...

But I am definitely a rockstar... a painting rockstar

I dig it.

And yes. Congrats to me... I think I may have had a breakthrough...


I'm on a roll

Look out.
I'm gonna bust out some art.